I Hate Buicks

Jack Meoff

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Okay....what's up with these piece of shit Buicks?
I'm not talking about the 40's to even the 80's
I'm taking about those God forsaken jelly bean shaped rolling turds from late 90's into the 2000's.

I've yet to see one actually do the speed limit let alone surpass it.
I'm driving along and everything is cool....
Let's face reality here when it comes to speed limits.
Up here we're in kilometers (wasn't my idea)
25mph is 40 klicks here.....sooooo.
40 means 50, 80 means 90....etc.
You're rolling along doing 48-50.....so is everyone else
But lo and behold.....what's that up ahead?
It's a f#$&ing Buick.....doing 39.......!
Now I understand these cars are the equivalent of a weeks worth of waste from the colonic irrigation clinic but I'm pretty sure they go faster than that!!!

But sure enough if there's a Buick up ahead......you're screwed till you can pass this POS.
Now I'm not sure if it's a mental state brought on by the hypnotic nasal drone of these GM scrap heaps but even young guys are putzing along like they're on their way to the old folks home.

I blame Buicks.....I hate Buicks.....
Just something highly unlikeable about them.
Not the old one's.......more than a few cool models there.
But these bulbous landfills on wheels?.....
Did I mention I hate those bloody Buicks?.....

This madness must end!
 

greymouser7

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Look at the age bracket of people that buy buicks and who grew up around them-an older market. Some older folks drive slow enough that they feel safe.
 

Jack Meoff

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That is true....however....
It's become a beater car and I do see guys my age driving them like they're a slug on pavement.
If I see a senior driving one then there's no problem at all and I'm totally respectful.....even though the goddamn rolling dumpster on wheels is doing 10-15 under the speed limit!....freakin' Buicks!!
Funny thing is I've seen old timers in fords and Mopars doing just fine cruising with everyone else......

Put 'em in a Buick?.....
I'm guessing you're lulled into a state of mental gelatin and can't help yourself....

Freakin' Buicks!! :violent1:
 

72Dodge

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This is hilarious. My wife has an '03 Buick Century, but not by choice exactly.

She had a Toyrota that she loved, but it was falling apart (the rust was holding it together though), had a major rear main seal leak, and was looking really ragged. When my grandfather stopped driving, he had this Century sitting in Florida with only 30,000 miles on it, and had just had it all gone through, new everything, since it had been sitting (garaged) in Florida. So, it was basically a brand new car. We bought it from him for a song, sold her Toyrota for the same price, so it was a wash for us.

It's a nice car in the sense that it's brand spanking new, and drives like it. It's also a POS in the sense that it's horribly engineered, horribly assembled, has horrible ergonomics, and looks like a big turd (thank goodness it's not brown). We both hate the car, but we appreciate it for what it is... a brand-new car that was very clearly designed for old people to slowly cruise around Florida in, rarely ever breaking 45 mph. (Not coincidentally, that's when the dashboard padding starts to vibrate annoyingly LOL).

But... we're not the ones driving around at half the speed limit. We drive it nicely, because we want it to last (translated: if I drove it the way I normally drive it, it would fall apart), but no "slower" than normally either. We have noticed that we're the youngest and fastest people driving one of these Buicks though.

And to answer the question, is it slow... not especially. The 3.1 will get out of it's own way easily enough, but it's no barnburner either. It's just not a car that's real conducive to wanting to drive it fast, that's all!
 

Jack Meoff

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This is hilarious. My wife has an '03 Buick Century, but not by choice exactly.

She had a Toyrota that she loved, but it was falling apart (the rust was holding it together though), had a major rear main seal leak, and was looking really ragged. When my grandfather stopped driving, he had this Century sitting in Florida with only 30,000 miles on it, and had just had it all gone through, new everything, since it had been sitting (garaged) in Florida. So, it was basically a brand new car. We bought it from him for a song, sold her Toyrota for the same price, so it was a wash for us.

It's a nice car in the sense that it's brand spanking new, and drives like it. It's also a POS in the sense that it's horribly engineered, horribly assembled, has horrible ergonomics, and looks like a big turd (thank goodness it's not brown). We both hate the car, but we appreciate it for what it is... a brand-new car that was very clearly designed for old people to slowly cruise around Florida in, rarely ever breaking 45 mph. (Not coincidentally, that's when the dashboard padding starts to vibrate annoyingly LOL).

But... we're not the ones driving around at half the speed limit. We drive it nicely, because we want it to last (translated: if I drove it the way I normally drive it, it would fall apart), but no "slower" than normally either. We have noticed that we're the youngest and fastest people driving one of these Buicks though.

And to answer the question, is it slow... not especially. The 3.1 will get out of it's own way easily enough, but it's no barnburner either. It's just not a car that's real conducive to wanting to drive it fast, that's all!


You've just cleared up a large chunk of the mystery behind these rolling turds for me.....thank you. I guess that's it. A combination of folks being and driving like they're in their golden years and the fact that they're worried the thing might disassemble if you go above 30 mph....


Just in case anyone hasn't caught it yet.
This is supposed to be somewhat funny.
 

alf44

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how about a 85 buick le sabre 4 door- with a 307 olds engine and a true 4 bbl carb? that was my moms car for many years.that was NOT a slow car with my mom or dad driving !either one of them driving and that car was never the slow turd on the road. plus it looked like a real car should.... big-square- and a v8 rear drive to boot....
 

Jack Meoff

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how about a 85 buick le sabre 4 door- with a 307 olds engine and a true 4 bbl carb? that was my moms car for many years.that was NOT a slow car with my mom or dad driving !either one of them driving and that car was never the slow turd on the road. plus it looked like a real car should.... big-square- and a v8 rear drive to boot....

No issues there.....
The one's I can't stand are those melted turd shaped late 90's-early 2000's
They should all be painted brown....
 

53ryder

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If I recall correctly there was an old ad slogan that said something to the effect that "...Buick gives you life...". So maybe older drivers have bought into this idea and are trying to live longer by driving a Buick? Or not!


Glenn
 

Jack Meoff

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If I recall correctly there was an old ad slogan that said something to the effect that "...Buick gives you life...". So maybe older drivers have bought into this idea and are trying to live longer by driving a Buick? Or not!


Glenn

Could be....the majority of people I see driving that era of Buick look like they may have gotten an extra decade or two.

Could also be more false advertising from GM.
 
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72Dodge

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They give you life in the sense that you can't drive it fast enough to be injured in one. (Joking, obviously)
 

Monkeyed

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v
how about a 85 buick le sabre 4 door- with a 307 olds engine and a true 4 bbl carb? that was my moms car for many years.that was NOT a slow car with my mom or dad driving !either one of them driving and that car was never the slow turd on the road. plus it looked like a real car should.... big-square- and a v8 rear drive to boot....

I had one of those with that same set up. Fun car! 307 with a quadrajet, de-computerized to boot.
 

alf44

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my parents drove from southern Mn to northern Mn one day in that buick with the 307 4bbl with overdrive and got 24 -26 mpg back in the early 2000s
 

Monkeyed

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my parents drove from southern Mn to northern Mn one day in that buick with the 307 4bbl with overdrive and got 24 -26 mpg back in the early 2000s

yup, sounds about right, I'd average 18 in town, 20-22 through the mountains in Pennsylvania.
 
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