When I awoke from a long winter's nap...

[My imp]

Due to my wife's For Obviously Retarded Drivers (Ford) finding yet another way to leak out its anti freeze, I was forced to press my Imp into service on a cold winter's day. Imagine my surprise to see a Diplomat coming towards me on Aurora Rd. in Solon, Oh. around 4-4:30 today. Anyone here? Yet again, another Mopar to a Ford's rescue.

 

[Jack Meoff]

Yes Sir....I know that one.
A co-workers furd turdass...a fairly new one has been in and out of the shop
And my ever faithful Fifth is doing yet another winter tour of duty.
Just got through an ice storm and it's still wearing an inch and a half of ice
And lots of snow with arctic temps.
It's yet to ever let me down.
Gotta love a Mopar...

 

[slant6billy]

Over the river through the woods was probably written in a mopar with a flag on the roof and "01" on the door. Yep, more & more FMJs appearing in clear weather around here too.

Hey Capt- where you been?

There's an 80 coupe Volare with nice small block rollin these parts for sale for 1800 bucks as well a mid 80s fury and a few dips.

 

[Jack Meoff]

Over the river through the woods was probably written in a mopar with a flag on the roof and "01" on the door. Yep, more & more FMJs appearing in clear weather around here too.

Hey Capt- where you been?

There's an 80 coupe Volare with nice small block rollin these parts for sale for 1800 bucks as well a mid 80s fury and a few dips.

Just been a busy boy man....
Please don't tell me about more cars!!!
I'm supposedly still getting this 76 woody Volare wagon in March.
I found a 75 Fury I can probably get got $600 once the snow clears up north
And another guy wants to sell me a pristine Fifth for under a grand.
I've got three on the go already......
The pain. :icon_shaking2:

 

[My imp]

That's Furd Tortiose, Exploder, Excrement, Fucus, Extruder, 500 (things that can, & will go wrong), LTD (Latest Trash from Dearborn), & the list goes on & on!

 

[Jack Meoff]

That's Furd Tortiose, Exploder, Excrement, Fucus, Extruder, 500 (things that can, & will go wrong), LTD (Latest Trash from Dearborn), & the list goes on & on!

Not to mention the aptly named Escape (from my lease)
And the Fusion (what will happen to all of the moving parts after a year)
Fiesta (what the salesman has once he has another suckers money)

 

[NoCar340]

Mom had an '84 Extort...

 

[My imp]

Furd GT (Get Towed, a lot!), 427 S.U.C.K.'s no matter how many cams it has! 429 Boss-a-Nova
Pinto (Put In New Transmission Often). Of course there's always GM. Chevrolet (Can Hear Every Valve Rattling On Long Extended Trips), Pontiac (Poor Old Negro Thinks It's A Cadillac), GMC (Gotta Mechanic Coming, Green Monkey Cum, Garage Mechanics Companion)

 

[Jack Meoff]

Oh man.....these are priceless!!!
And while we're taking furd....
Let's not forget one of the best marketing ideas those brainiacs ever came up with.....the (anal) Probe.
Imp....I've already memorized the Chevrolet one....that's the best!

 

[Bryan M.]

Remember, guys, those jokes work the other way around too, even for (Company Has Recommended You Should Learn Electrical Repair)

 

[My imp]

(Mopar) My Old Pig Ain't Runnin', Move Over Power Approaching Rapidly, Mostly Old Parts And Rust. (Ford) For Obviously Retarded Drivers, Fried On Race Day, F*cked Over Rebuilt Dodge, Found On Road Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily. (GM) Gummer Mobile, Genital Motors. (Fiat) Fix It Again Tony/Today.

 

[My imp]

Oh yeah, Furd's 1st "World Car", the 1.6L Excrete. Toyleta MR2/MR Not. The reason GM named the Citation the "X" car was Stempl (I believe) took one look at the plans, & drew a big "X" right through the middle of them! lol That's my story, & I'm sticking' to it. Even if it's not accurate, it should be!

 

[slant6billy]

Just watch a few episodes of Roadkill on the motortrend channel on Youtube and you'll either under appreciate the how stupid preventative maintenance is funny or how we thrill for the "idiot- syncrosees" of all motorheads.

 

[Jack Meoff]

MERCEDES Maxed Every Remaining Card...Engine Died...Entering Subway

BMW Bring My Wallet

HYUNDAI Ha, You Understand Now...Damn Asian Imports

KIA Keep It Asshole

TOYOTA Talk Over Your Optional Travel Arrangements

LEXUS Luckily Excessive Xanax Undoes Stickershock

PORSCHE Poor Old Retard Says Cash Has Evaporated

AUDI Another Useless Deutsche Invention

 

[Jack Meoff]

Well speaking of good ol' Mopar reliability....
Here's some shots of what my poor Fifth has put up with since our recent ice storm.
My windshield, drivers side window, roof and trunk.
Don't think I'll be getting in my trunk till it warms up...

 

[My imp]

IROC (Italian Retards Out Cruisin')
Datsun ("It broke down again, Dat-sun?)
NAPA (Need Another Part A**hole!)
Infiniti a.k.a. The payment book
LHS (Long Hunk of Shit)
R/T (Regularly Towed)
SRT (Super Regularly Towed)
RS (Regular Shit)
SS (Special/Slow/Slow as Shit)

 

[alf44]

DODGE R/T , means to me................ ROAD TRIP !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[My imp]

I almost forgot; GTO (Get the Tools Out),(Gas Tires & Oil), (Get Trounced Often)