Alrighty ... It took me another 3 hours and 20 minutes to get the top bolt out this afternoon.
About 15 minutes to wiggle it out.
Thank you BudW for the recommendation of putting something under it to catch it as it comes down. Dang it was heavy.
Got the new starter (smaller) and had it installed in 20 minutes.
After thinking about everything, I believe that my problem was not trusting the car jacks.
Every time I got under the car I immediately started worrying about what would happen if the car shifted.
Who would take care of husband... would I survive... how long would it take for someone to find me... .... not panic attack, just the litany kept me from feeling confident to get under the car.
After the 3rd hour and being still frustrated about that top bolt, I re-checked the car jacks and despite using the car and car bumper to get up and down, opening and closing the door, etc, there was no evidence that the car had shifted or that the jacks had moved.
I then decided to get under the car the way I should have at the beginning rather than struggling to get to the starter from the side. Took 15 to 20 minutes and I had the bolt out. But I was fully under the car--maybe 14 inches of my legs were showing out from under the car.
Putting the new starter in was the same... very quick.
I didn't put the heat shield back on... wasn't sure I needed it and I was running out of daylight. Needed to get some chores done in the greenhouse and dinner on the table, goats fed, etc.
Will make sure the battery is charged tomorrow, remove the jacks and try starting this vehicle.
I did have to use a car jack to help torque the wrench to get it started, but after that, it was home free.