I want a raise...

[Joeychgo]

The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.

She asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Helen: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Helen: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Helen: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Helen: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Helen: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

Helen: "No, the gardener did."

Wife: "So, how much do you want?"

 

[bremereric]

Good one Joey I want the third raise.

 

[80 Aspen RT]

Lol.....

 

[Jack Meoff]

Wacka Whacka!!!

 

[Jack Meoff]

There's a massive flood coming, already begun.
An old heavily religious woman is ankle deep in water staring out of her living room window.
A patrol boat pulls up and the officer says,
"Ma'am, get in the boat, we'll take you to safety."
She replies, "No, the lord will show me the way"
They plead, but to no avail...they leave.

Two hours later, the old woman is looking out her second storey window.
The patrol boat pulls up to her bedroom window.
The officer says, "please ma'am, get in the boat".
Again, she responds...
"The lord will show me the way"
They plead, again to no avail, they eventually leave.
An hour later, the old woman is on the roof.
The patrol boat comes by,
The officer yells,
"For God's sake ma'am, get in the boat!!!
Again, "No, the lord will show me the way.."
They eventually leave, the old woman drowns.

At the pearly gates, she sees the lord and runs up to him.
"Oh my lord, why did you let me die?

The lord looks at her with an unimpressed look and says....

"I sent three boats."

 

[Mroldart2u]

Lol CC....