1. Justwondering

    Justwondering Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,114
    Likes Received:
    712
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2015
    Location:
    North Texas
    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.



    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?



    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. Where will the government get this money ?




    A. From taxpayers.




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?




    A. Only a smidgen of it.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?




    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?




    A. Shut up.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:





    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,
    the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .




    * If you spend it on gasoline,
    your money will go to the Arabs.




    * If you purchase a computer,
    it will go to India , Taiwan or China ...




    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables,
    it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...



    * If you buy an efficient car,
    it will go to Japan or Korea .



    * If you purchase useless stuff,
    it will go to Taiwan .



    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,
    it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



    Instead, keep the money in America by:



    1) Spending it at yard sales, or
    2) Going to ball games, or
    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
    4) Beer or
    5) Tattoos.



    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



    Conclusion:


    Go to a ball game
    with a tattooed prostitute
    that you met at a yard sale
    and drink beer all day !




    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
     
    7T8 Custom and AJ/FormS like this.
  2. Aspen500

    Aspen500 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,290
    Likes Received:
    1620
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2015
    Location:
    Rib Mountain (Wausau) WI
    LMAO.jpg
     
  3. Oldiron440

    Oldiron440 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,714
    Likes Received:
    564
    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2017
    Location:
    Iowa
    How about
    Pay the gas and lights
    Buy food
    Get caught up on the health bills
    If there's any left maybe I will get a new package of underwear. :(
     
  4. volare 77

    volare 77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,381
    Likes Received:
    184
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Location:
    maryland
    Who wears underwear??
     
    Justwondering likes this.
  5. 7T8 Custom

    7T8 Custom Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    817
    Likes Received:
    286
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2015
    Location:
    Vancouver, British Columbia
    The underwear is all made in Bangladesh.
     
  6. slant6billy

    slant6billy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,925
    Likes Received:
    619
    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2011
    Tax filing season does seem to put folks into a project car buying mood.
     
  7. Oldiron440

    Oldiron440 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,714
    Likes Received:
    564
    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2017
    Location:
    Iowa
    That's why I need to buy new. :)
     
  8. volare 77

    volare 77 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,381
    Likes Received:
    184
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Location:
    maryland
    I have a old pair you can have just pay shipping. LOL
     
    Justwondering likes this.